Posts

What would Boris do?

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News that Ray Nagin, Mayor of New Orleans has told city residents to " get their butts out " as Hurricane Gustav hits, made me wonder what the London mayor would say and do under the same circumstances. I think it'd go something like this. Right, chaps, bit of a problem. With the weather, I think. Yes, that's right, rain, wind, whoosh, big storms, floods. Cripes. Hurricane Ken I'm calling it, what? Right then. Gosh. Hands out of pockets, stop playing trouser ping-pong, put on serious face time. So um, yes, run for the hills, we're all going to die from a big storm. A very big storm. What would Granny Butter do? Cripes. Yes, chaps, make for the airports. Or better still, take the bus. The big, red, shiny Routemaster bus. I love 'em, don't you? Bring 'em back, that's what I say. I did say, didn't I? Crumbs. Anyhoo, head for the bus or those other things, those long things, the ones that pull out of stations, lots of steam, Choo Choo! So that...

Coronation Street Weekly Updates

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I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and this week's Coronation Street update has just gone live here . This week the update comes with Emily Bishop's bedroom secrets.

Birthday Spurtle

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Best birthday present received last weekend was a spurtle. I've wanted one for ages. I might name it Shona Spurtle aka Hitler in Tights . And if that means nothing to you then you haven't had the theme tune from The High Life stuck in your head for the last 20 years. It was wonderful, was The High Life . Haven't a clue what I'm on about? Then have a look here .

Bump, Grind and Ding-Dong

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Did you know there are CDs of Londoners' favourite sounds ? Well, there are. Anyway, here are two of mine. The bump, grind and hollow clang in the tube station on a morning as I wait for the train. The noise can ever only mean one thing and it fills my heart with joy. An empty train is coming out of the siding and I will get my favourite seat. The 12 noon ding-dong from St Clements in the Dane church. It really does ring out Oranges and Lemons.

Optical allusions

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Weeks of blurred vision while reading and using the computer lead me, oh so very reluctantly, to accept I need an eye test. But I haven't booked one yet; it's not a vanity thing of how I might look wearing specs... ...it's because to admit I need glasses means to admit to getting old, and I'm not quite ready for that just yet.

Birthday

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This weekend I'll be celebrating another birthday which makes me another year older but still none the wiser. This year I will be celebrating hitting the end of my early-40s but I'm not officially mid-40s yet, oh no.

Coronation Street Weekly Update

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I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and this week's Coronation Street update has just gone live here . This week the update comes with a moustache-clad Kevin Webster.