Flaming Nora

If, like me, you don't often wear a dress, then it's hard to know what suits and what will fit and look nice.  So all you do is go into a shop, pick something off the rail that looks pretty and is about the right size and then you try it on. And that's when you realise that dresses are made for teeny, tiny little women. Not women with long limbs. Not women without a waist. Not women with a bosom. Not women with hips. Not women like me.

Does anyone remember the advert for Richard Shops? If, like me, the thought of it rings a bell way back in the depths of your mind, didn’t the song in the ad go something like this: Richard Shops are filled with all the pretty things Soft and lovely pretty things to wear Come now, pretty things, make the world a prettier place Come prettier, come buy your clothes at Richard Shops I hadn’t thought about Richard Shops in years, not until the new ad for Marks and Spencer aired the other week. You know the one I mean, it’s got Itchy Coo Park as the soundtrack, and a pre-pregnant Myleene Klass in her knickers as the USP. It’s also got Twiggy and a bunch of air-brushed lovelies floating around in pretty things to wear, sitting in a field having a picnic and generally being too girly for their own good. But I don’t want adverts for pretty things, floaty dresses, pointy shoes, floppy hats, things I’ll wear once and never put on again. I don’t want Myleene Klass’ knockers on my telly. What I’d ...