Flaming Nora

My favourite Desperate Housewife is dead, no more, deceased and gone. So long, Edie Britt. You might have been a tart but you were my favourite Desperate Housewife. Desperate Housewives should never be confused with this .

I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and this week's Coronation Street update has just gone live here . This week the update comes with a very confused Jason Grimshaw.

Boris Johnson, Mayor of London has gone and done it again - axed something else that thousands of Londoners enjoyed. This time it's Europe's biggest anti-racist festival which he's decided to poo on from a great height. Read all about it here. What a pillock the man is. See also: Boris Johnson is a numpty

Today, I have hoovered and himself has done the bathroom. Tickets for a show have been booked and a restaurant table reserved. And so, I think we're all set for me mam's visit to London this coming weekend. Here's what happened last time she was here.

The book I'm managing to block out everyone else and avoid eye-contact on the tube with is Don Letts' Culture Clash . It's his autobiography and an excellent read. DJ, singer, film maker... he's done more than most and I swear the power of his ego is turning the pages. A good read and one I recommend.

A news story on telly last night about giraffes made me realise that Flamingoland in North Yorkshire is not only still open, but still rates itself as a tourist destination. I hadn't given the place a thought in years, thinking by now it must have closed down and an Aldi built on the site. But no, Flamingoland is still open and presumably, as the ads used to say in the 1970's, still "on the Malton to Pickering road". Anyway, the reason for this ramble is that Flamingoland reminds me of another animal park - Lambton Lion Park, which was closer to home. It sticks in the memory because of a family trip there in the 70's in dad's brand new car. Dad was driving, mam was in the passenger seat, and us three noisy kids in the back. I was probably playing Bay City Rollers tapes. So there we all were, driving around the wildlife section of the park admiring the monkeys when one of the cheeky beggars jumped on the new car bonnet and stared through the car windscreen di...

I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and this week's Coronation Street update has just gone live here . This week the update comes with the wonderful Betty Turpin doing one of her faces.