Merry Christmas, etc.

Right, that's me done for another year. I've wrapped, packed, had me hair cut, trimmed me toe nails and am all set for the trip up north. Merry Christmas and all that.

Coronation Street Weekly Update, Dec 14 2009

I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and thisweek's Coronation Street update has just gone live here.

This week the update comes for the last time in two weeks.

Joe McElderry is not a Geordie

As I'm a Strictly Come Dancing fan, I've never watched the X-Factor but the news that Joe McElderry has won the latest singing competition hasn't passed me by. The Sun called him, in a front page headline, "Geordie Joe" and I've read other references, ooh, just aboute everywhere saying that Joe's a Geordie. He's not.

Just as Lauren Laverne isn't a Geordie, neither is Joe. Lauren hails from Sunderland which makes her a Mackem and Joe hails from South Shields which makes him a Sandancer. So there you have it. Any more questions?

Homeward bound

The blog's been pretty quiet of late and the reason is that there's a lot of life taking place, if you know what I mean. Too much life, but it's all good stuff, in fact it couldn't be better. Yes, my lovely reader, I'm finally leaving London and moving back up north.

My regular readers (hello mum) will know I've had this love/hate thing going on with the big city ever since I moved down here in 2001. I've moaned about it often enough on the blog. And yes, there's been joy and excitement about living in London mixed in with the moans, but after eight and a half years of living in the smoke, some time in 2010 I'll be heading back north, to home. We both are, my lovely man and I.

And so, it's with a huge amount of relief that I can finally blow off the air-kissers and their meaningless cheek to cheek mwah-mwahs. I'm calling time on the people who say: "I'll call you!", "We must do lunch!", "Let's get together some time!" when they don't mean a word. I won't ever get excited again when media people tell me I'm 'sensational'. It's just a language they use and one I misunderstood, like a foreigner, lost, with the wrong phrase book.

I'll miss things, of course. I'll miss The Women's Library and their absolutely fantastic events and walks. I'll miss the Royal Festival Hall for its inclusiveness and egg mayo sarnies, a public building that has always made me feel welcome when I've often felt lost. I'll miss concerts and gigs and dancing in the park. I'll miss diversity and acceptance. And I'll miss people I've made friends with, but not as much as I've missed every single family member in the time I've lived away.

I've been ready to leave London for years. In the time I've lived here, I've fallen out of love with the big city twice for reasons too personal to blog. And now I'm looking forward, looking northwards - to family, friends, fresh air and fields, sea-views and space. To home.

Coronation Street Weekly Update, Dec 7 2009

I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and thisweek's Coronation Street update has just gone live here.

This week the update comes with Santa Claus feeling sorry for his elf.

Coronation Street Weekly Update, Nov 30 2009

I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and this week's Coronation Street update has just gone live here.

This week the update comes with a cushion to hide behind while watching the sicky-love scenes between Molly and Kev.

London bus

Why can't people in London use a bus properly?

When they're not sitting on the outside seat, covering the seat by the window with their bag and being unsocial about letting anyone else sit there, then they're all squashed up together on the bottom deck when there's loads of empty seats upstairs. And no one says thank you to the driver, either. No one.

Morrissey and me

When he cut short his concerts earlier this month due to illness, Morrissey said that's he'd "endured a titanic struggle against an intolerable virus".

Me too, mate. Me too.

Coronation Street Weekly Update, Nov 23 2009

I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and this week's Coronation Street update has just gone live here.

This week the update comes with Roy Cropper, super-hero.
Picture courtesy of: MontyBon

Strictly Come Dancing

Every Saturday I get more excited than a woman my age really should. I can't help it, I love watching Strictly Come Dancing, although I do miss Karen Hardy and her pointing fingers a lot.

Christmas - yes or no (v.3)

Every November, I go through this same routine. I hate Christmas, I don't want it to come, it's too expensive, too stressful, too - you know, Christmassy. I was like this last year, remember? And the year before.
And because I've been through this routine before, I know it'll change come mid-December when the Christmas Radio Times is in the shops and all will be well with the world. Just you wait and see. I'll even come back and blog it.

Sprouts

Am I the only person in the world who not only enjoys eating sprouts, but can't get enough of them at this time of year? They're fab, sprouts, and I rate them highly as long as they're not boiled to smithereens and mush.

Strange fruit

I'm a sucker for product placement, me. Walked into Morrisons last week when we did the weekly shop and they had a moutain of these weird looking things at the front of the fruit and veg. Apparently it's a dragon fruit and as I'd never had one before, the mountain called to this gullible shopper and I bought one with £1.50 of my hard-earned cash.

It looks gorgeous, doesn't it, with its fluroescent pink skin and dragon-like scales? I had to look on th'internet to find out whether I should eat it or frame it. 'Cut the top off and scoop out the seeds' was the web advice received and followed. And the taste? Disappointing, to be honest. It had the texture of melon, white flesh with hundreds of tiny black seeds and tasted quite bland. Next time I see a mountain of weird goodies in Morrisons, I'll keep that £1.50 tightly in my hand. Or spend it on choc.

Coronation Street Weekly Update, Nov 16 2009

I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and this week's Coronation Street update has just gone live here.

This week the update comes with such devoted sisters.

Coronation Street Weekly Update, November 9 '09

I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and this week's Coronation Street update has just gone live here.

This week the update comes with Deirdre Barlow's cheese straws.

Almost well

Thanks to everyone who's been asking how I am. If 100% is totally well and how I was before the illness started back in August, then I reckon I'm hovering around 81.3% now. I'm still not right and haven't had so much as a sniff of red wine since August 28th. Not that I'm counting the days or anything.

So while I'm not quite back to being:

I am definitely on the mend and feeling much better than this:

The year of the flood

I've just finished reading the latest offering from my all-time favourite author, Margaret Atwood. The book is The Year of the Flood and it was tremendous, a true 10 out of 10. She's the only author whose books I'll buy in hardback because I'm too impatient to wait. Another fantastic book from an amazing writer.

Kissing in emails

People I don't know, have never met and am never likely to meet, have taken to sending kisses to me in their emails. Admittedly, most of them are from media and PR companies but it comes over as needy. I don't like it and I want it to stop.

Coronation Street Weekly Update, November 2 '09

I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and this week's Coronation Street update has just gone live here.

This week the update comes with wishy-washy liberalism of the Ken Barlow kind.

Night mares

Putting a new spin on a night-mare, I've had another vivid dream about a horse. Now then, in real life, I'm a bit scared of horses if truth be told. I wouldn't choose to ride one and if I saw one coming down the street, I'd run back indoors and wait for it to pass. Well, you never know when a horse might do that.

But I digress.

Last time I had a dream about a horse, this happened. And in my dream this week, the most vivid for months and I can recall every detail, I was riding the horse through country lanes where I came upon Bernard Cribbins and a packet of custard creams.

Yes, but what does it all mean?

Coronation Street Weekly Update, October 26 '09

I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and this week's Coronation Street update has just gone live here.

This week the update comes with Miss Scarlett in the living room with the candlestick.

Yorkshire Puddings

These aren't mine, just a picture I picked up on the web but I'll making some later today for our Sunday dinner. Proper Yorkshire puddings are one of the top ten 10 baking wonders of my world.

New hair, New me/ME

A much needed haircut landed on me today, it's short and fab. The ill person who's been staring back at me from the mirror for the last few weeks has now left the building.

Anyway, I'm on the mend now, back at work part-time for a further two weeks until recovery is complete. The GP says it's Post-Viral Syndrome so of course the first thing I did was Google when I came home from the surgery. Post-Viral Syndrome is also called Chronic Fatigue Sydrome, better known as M.E. It's a slow recovery; let's just say it seems like it'll be a long time before I run to catch a bus again.

Go Compare! Go Compare!

I'm the least likely person to use an insurance comparison website because, you know, insurance is dull and the less I can have to do with it, the better. But still the Go Compare! Go Compare! jingle jangles in my brain and I have to admit I do like it. It won't make me look at the site but I've started making my own words up to create a new Go Compare! song, it's got me that hooked. Admittedly I haven't got much further than Go Compare! Cut Your Hair! but still, it's a start.

Favourite fruit

My favourite fruit has been in the shops for weeks but is only fully in season now. By 'eck, they're expensive though.

Sky Arts

My new fave TV channel is Sky Arts. And my new favourite telly programme on said channel is Art Race. Set in the US, it's a reality TV show with two artists, one working from NY to LA and the other one LA to NY. They're only allowed to barter paintings for food and lodgings. I'd love to see it work in the UK.

Coronation Street Weekly Update, October 19 '09

I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and this week's Coronation Street update has just gone live here.

This week the update comes with a lame donkey and healing hands.

Autumn in the garden

Some wonderful pictures taken today of the turning of the leaves in our garden as autumn sets in.

And summer flowers still bloom.

And the birds haven't nicked all of the grapes.

Julie Walters autobiography

Curled up on the sofa with a mug of tea and Julie Walters' book has been a joy this week. It's a nice, easy read, full of funny anecdotes. Well worth picking up in your local bookshop.

Coronation Street Weekly Update, October 12 2009

I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and this week's Coronation Street update has just gone live here.

This week the update comes with Tequlia and Teresa.

Perfect face for radio

STOP PRESS: I have had to pull out of the radio interview as I'm not well enough to do it.

Yikes. I'm being interviewed on the wireless by BBC Radio 5 Live on Tuesday 13th October at 7am. They're broadcasting from the Coronation Street set and want to speak to a Corrie fan which is where I come in. They're sending a radio car and everything. Now that'll have the neighbours talking.

Treacle treat

So, what's a girl to do when she's been sick for weeks, is finally on the mend and wants to treat herself before she returns to the office on Monday?

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Exhibit A:

Smothered in Exhibit B:

Beer groggles

In this whole crapola of an illness, I haven't had a drink since August 28th. Not that I've been counting the days, but, you know.

When I get well I am looking forward to enjoying one of these.

Virusus R Us

Well, I'm here again. I'm still not back to full health and still off work on the sick but am going to attempt another return next week. The doc says it's a virus which I'm beginning to think is med-speak for: "We haven't got a clue, dear".

The cure, the doc keeps telling me every time I turn up at her surgery in a state of distress, is to rest. But I've rested until a girl can rest no more and still I'm suffering burning pains all over my body and a temperature so high it makes my forehead hot enough to fry an egg on. I know because I've tried. Oh, and my legs wobble when I stand. And yes, I've had a blood test which turned out fine.

Is there a doctor in the blog?

Anyway, books I've read while off work sick include Mystery Man by Colin Bateman which was very funny and had me chuckling on the sofa. And Flying Under Bridges by Sandi Toksvig which wasn't as funny as I'd hoped and expected but very good all the same.

I'm heading back to the health centre tomorrow to get the once-over from matron. Will blog again as and when.

Au Revoir, but not Goodbye

Off work sick for a month and feeling no better now than I did way back then. So, until I get well again, au revoir.

See-saw sick

It started with a bad cold. Then it made me pig sick, then filthy sick and then (hoorah!) I wasn't quite as sick and went back to work. And now (boo!) I'm back at home on the sofa with a flareup of symptoms I don't understand. My GP has been worse than useless, giving me two sicknotes but no eye contact, never mind advice. Tomorrow I see a different GP in a new health centre I've registered with who'll hopefully shed some light on what's going on.

Mark Radcliffe: Thank You For The Days

I've just finished reading Mark Radcliffe's book Thank You For The Days and enjoyed it a lot. With a review on the cover from Bowie which reads: "Steal this book!" how could it not be good? Mind you, I didn't steal it, I paid the nice woman in Waterstones my pounds and my pence.

Radcliffe comes across as a really nice bloke in a book full of chapters with snappy titles such as: The Day I Met Tony Blair's Teeth and The Day I Bought Flowers for Kylie. A good read and I recommend it.

Farewell, Loose Women

After almost three weeks off being off sick, I went back to work today. Admittedly, I had to leave an hour earlier than normal as I'm not yet back to full strength but I'm back in the land of the nose-to-grindstone wage slaves. And it was about time too, I fear I was becoming addicted to ITV's Loose Women and that just can't be right.

Filthy sick

I've had to send in a sicknote to work. It's only the second time I've ever done that in my life, the first time being many, many years ago, and I've worked full-time for almost 30 of my earth years.

So, the swine flu went after a course of Tamiflu but it's left me with a virus that's causing burning in my head, neck and back, a high temperature, rash and a filthy mood. Apart from the GP (twice) and A&E at th'ospital (once) I've not been across the doors in almost three weeks. I want to be well but it's all I can do to sit at the computer and moan.

Pig sick

Despite no flu-like symptoms, the doc's given me Tamiflu and instead of being poolside with a beer in Spain, I'm still off work sick with a bad cold and now, a nasty virus too.

This is my first day out of bed in a few days and the fact that I'm up and blogging, emailing and catching up is a sign of recovery, I hope.

However, we've had to cancel our two week annual jollies to Spain, which we've had booked for months, to a very special place to celebrate a special anniversary for my lovely man and I. Needless to say, we're both fed up.

It's only the second time in my life I've had to cancel a holiday due to not being well. The first time was as a kid when my brothers and I all caught chicken pox at the same time. My parents cancelled our annual fortnight to Gorleston-on-Sea and once we'd recovered, they took us on a last minute booking to Walton-on-the-Naze. I've never been back.

Summer holidays, at last

Done Blogging.
Gone fishing.

Coronation Street Weekly Update, August 31 2009

I've been writing Coronation Street weekly updates since 1995 and this week's Coronation Street update has just gone live here.

This week the update comes with a Blanche Hunt classic.

The Best of Everything

Just finished reading The Best of Everything by Rona Jaffe. It's a 1958 novel which has been reissued with a retro black and white cover bearing the tag-line, The Original Sex and the City.

It's a smashing little book and the reissue is on sale in Watersones for over a tenner or you can do what I did and pick up an original via eBay for 99p. The novel was turned into a movie and then a soap opera in the US and is definitely worth a read, even 50 years on.

Magnum P.I, why-aye

For the third time this year I have a stinking cold and for the second time this year, it's forced me off work sick. Fortunately, it's nothing worse, but still, it's really snot fair.

However, the one good thing about being confined to the sofa with the TV remote in one hand and a Lemsip in the other is the joy you can find on Sky TV.

Ah, be still my beating heart.

Top 10 things to do in London

Now that I've lived in London for over eight years, I feel I can blog with some authority on the city, don't you think? So if you're planning a trip to the capital, here's my top 10 favourite things to do in that London.

1. The London Eye. I've been on it four times, even though I'm scared of heights.
2. Sir John Soane's Museum. A hidden gem in Holborn and it's free.
3. Borough Market. Get there early before the tourists.
4. Ride the Thames in a London Duck.
5. Sit on Kirsty MacColl's bench in Soho Square.
6. Royal Festival Hall. My favourite building in London, followed by a walk along the Southbank.
7. London Transport Museum will release your inner tube-driver.
8. Imperial War Museum has some fantastic tanks. Yes, really.
9. Churchill Museum and Cabinet war rooms. A sobering experience.
10. Saint Clement Danes Church. Turn up at 12 noon and the bells really do chime Oranges and Lemons.

And now for some tips. Do yourself a favour and avoid the over-priced scrums of Oxford Street and Covent Garden. And if you're not 17 don't go to Camden Market, you'll just feel un-hip and sad. Oh, and never say you want to see Big Ben. You can't see Big Ben because that's the name of the Great Bell inside St Stephen's Tower, which is what you can see.

And finally, some things which you think might be over-priced and naff but are still worth doing - a river cruise and an open-top bus tour.